Metaphase

Well, we are now officially living in LA. Things here have been hectic, so say the least. Our furniture arrived here last Friday, and we’ve been working on getting things set up ever since. Now, Ash is going to another school for the Navy, so I can’t get a lot done with two little ones under my feet (sometimes literally!).

Also, I lost my comcast account when Ash cancelled our service in Boston. So, I don’t have my address book. I didn’t know he was going to cancel when he did, or I would have gotten everything off that account. If you want to get a hold of me, please write my Yahoo! account. If you don’t know that one, leave me a comment and I’ll send it to you.

Just wanted to let everyone know I am alive. I can’t wait to get settled in and get back to my blog reading/writing.

We are gearing up for the big move. It should be interesting because this is the first time we’ve done a move with kids in the equation.

First, though, Ash graduates on Friday, so mom and brother are coming in on Thursday night. My mom is supposed to watch the kids while we go to the graduation festivities, but I’m a little worried about that whole situation. Binhjamin quite literally will not let anyone but me or Ash hold him. I don’t know how my mom is going to care for these two toddlers all day by herself. My kids aren’t bad or anything, but at this age, they just need all the time.

Ok, so then we fly out next week and Ash gets loose ends tied up here and then heads down in the car with the dogs. People are asking me if I’m getting excited about our new house/move or if I’m stressed out about the move. The short answer is no on both parts. I guess I just don’t see excitement as other people do. When I think excitement I think of someone like jumping around going, “wooo- hooo”. I don’t really ever do that (except maybe a Red Sox World Series win…) so I don’t think I’m excited about the house/move. Yes, I am happy to be able to do what I want to the house, ie. paint, plant things, etc. But I’m not sitting around thinking about it a lot. Then, as far as stress, yes there are things to get done, but I’m not losing sleep over it. I guess we have moved enough times with the military that I sort of know the routine. Besides, it’s like a train wreck, once you see it’s gonna happen, it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. So I don’t really get too stressed out about the enevitable.

I don’t know how much I’ll be posting over the next week or two, but I’ll do the best I can.

As we prepare to move from Boston, I have been thinking about things that I will miss (yes, I said it, miss) about living here. I have compiled a Love/Hate list.

Here are the things I will miss about living in Boston:

1. My beloved Red Sox. When I say beloved I mean be. lov. ed. What better reason for my kids to have a 7:00pm bedtime? Red Sox come on at 7:05! In the words of the Rem Dawg “Buenos noches, amigos!” I will miss driving by Fenway Park and all the history this place holds. I’ll miss the fun of having 38,000 other people love the Red Sox with me when at Fenway. Ah, this is a hard one to have to leave…

2. Near perfect summer weather. I gotta tell ya’, I didn’t know they made summers like these. Warm days, but not hot, low humidity…We ate dinner outside for almost 3 months straight before Ava was born (back then, no one to put to bed at 7:00, see #1)

3. Knowing I live in a city so full of American history. Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere, Shot heard ’round the world, yada yada. You get the picture. It’s cool just to know it’s there.

4. Living in such a highly academic area. Once again, it’s cool just knowing that Harvard, MIT, Tufts. UMass, BU etc. are there. It also makes for some nice neighbors!

5. Having access to some of the country’s/world’s finest medical care. Boston was ranked as one of the best places in America to have a baby because it has 300% more medical specialists than other cities. It was such a blessing to be able to take Binhjamin to Tufts. Of course, I could have picked from literally dozens of other high ranking hospitals (Mass General, Beth Israel, Newton-Wellesley, the list goes on).

(Now this is only about the area and its people, so things like my church, my friends, etc. are a given that I will miss them…)

Here are things I will NOT miss, in fact, good riddance:

1. Rude people. RUDE. RUDE. RUDE. So many people here need some time in the naughty chair.

2. Traffic. Couple old, small streets not meant to hold the amount of people they now do, with said RUDE people and you get some traffic straight from Hades. I am not a person that generally has road rage. In fact, I’m pretty patient when driving, but living here has made me want to literally get out of the car and use some of my black belt techniques- shuto! (check out #48 )

3. LOOOONG cold, winters. Ok, so most people like the snow, and I like it when it first falls and everything is quiet and pretty- that lasts for about 2 hours for me. So you can see how the other NINE MONTHS could get on my nerves. I know, I know, crisp, cool fall days with changing leaves of New England. I call that pre-winter, cold and wet. Then there’s the crisp, spring days..I call that the winter that never ends. It’s cold here until, well, like this week. I think it was 35 last night..

4. The food. Except for the clam chowda’, food here is not good, IMO. It’s bland. People here are health concious, see my love list #5, so they don’t like to use salt, or fat, or flavor..shepherd’s pie? Come on people, we can do better than that.. let’s go fry something!

I’m going to keep it positive, so I’m only doing four things I will not miss. Thanks for listening!

So I failed to mention we were going out of town to check out the LA scene, where we’re moving in just a couple of weeks. We hit local restaurants and the beautiful beaches. Ok, so did I say LA is Lower Alabama, not Los Angeles? They’re so close, you know…

Ok, so we really did visit Lower Alabama, but the restaurants we checked out were places like Sonny’s and a local Chinese buffet, not Spagos. We did go to the beach about 40 minutes from where we bought a house. Yes, we even bought a house. Eventful week, I tell ya. The kids were great the whole time, even though we deviated from my otherwise tight nap/feeding schedule. (I don’t mean to be a dictator about nap time, but I just know everyone is happier when they sleep at a certain time.) Well, they were good and we got a lot accomplished.  

We move in just a couple of weeks. Ashley graduates and then we head out just a few days after that. I am flying to LA solo with the kids (insert prayers for me here) and Ashley is going to drive down with the dogs after the movers come. I don’t know who has the better end of the deal, me or him. It’s more of a lesser of two evils if you ask me.

I’ll try to post some pics of our time in LA. I have a couple of kids at the beach and one of the new house, I think.

First, I know I didn’t post yesterday, but I was thinking about all you moms out there on Mother’s Day. I especially was thinking of friends who had their first Mother’s Day, like Sarah, Karoliina, and Teri. As you know, last year was my first Mother’s Day. This year, I had two kids for Mother’s Day! This trend must not continue..!

Anyway, I wanted to post a quick story about Binhjamin and his trip to the international adoption doctor. Everything went great. They said he was coming right along and was very smart (as if there was doubt about that:)) The doctor’s main concern was his weight. She said he has no fat on his body, and did the measurement to prove it. You know that clamp thing they put on the back of your arm by your triceps? Well, it went like all the way together. Poor little guy. I told her I feel like we’re poking food in him all the time. She said he was probably expending 2-3 times the amount of calories that he was in the orphanage because he is very active now. See, now I hadn’t really thought about that.. Anyway, she said he needed dense fats like oil, butter, mayo. etc. She said think density, not necessarily volume. So I made my way to the grocery to shop for fat. I have to say, it was the first time I have ever stood in the aisle reading labels searching for the highest fat content. I was like, (in my head, of course. I’m not a total lunatic, yet anyway) “hmm. this butter has 7 grams of fat. Oh wait, this one has 11 grams of fat- I’ll take this one”. Maybe people thought I was training to become a sumo wrestler!

A few days ago I watched “China’s Stolen Children“, a documentary that will air on HBO in July, I think. It’s on Youtube now, and comes in 9 parts, each one about 9 minutes long. So, it’s not like hours and hours long. I think it’s definitely worth seeing.

I have to say, I came away from watching it feeling very disturbed and sad. With all the accuasations flying in Vietnam, I have felt like a lot of people talk about how terrible the situation is, but don’t really have any insight into how these things start. I mean, if you’re reading this blog right now, chances are you’re not a person who is trying to figure out where you’re going to get enough food to feed your family. This documentary gave me a little insight into 1) how a Communist regime has so much control over the lives of its citizens (like having to have a permit to have a baby or being forced to have an abortion by your government) 2) how desperation and poverty can lead one to make such unthinkable decisions. I have to say I also felt like it demonstrated how clearly this country needs God. It seems to me like a lot of people have no love in their lives, no moral compass. I was moved and disturbed all at once. After seeing this show, I also felt differently about people who abandon their little girls. They almost seem like the “good guys” in China’s whole situation.

I don’t have the answers, but I think I do have a better idea of what is going on other there and in other countries that are in economically similar situations. I understand more of how the selling of human life gets started. Hey, it’s not ok with me by any means, but I do have compassion for some the people who have to make excruciating choices.

I wanted to post about this past weekend earlier, but with the developments in Vietnam adoptions, I didn’t think I could just ignore that and talk about what we were up to.

We had a really nice weekend. There was a sheep-shearing festival that we went to and Ava had fun seeing all the animals (they had more than just sheep!). She is still talking about the sheep getting “haircuts”. Binhjamin hung out, literally, in the Baby Bjorn and was great the whole time we were there. He didn’t like the Bjorn when we first got him. I think he was too overwhelmed facing out and seeing all the new stuff.  Now he’s all good with it.

Sunday, we went out to a restaurant as a family for the first time. We went to an Applebee’s because that seemed pretty safe. If a meltdown ensued, we could easily get up and leave. Well, I am happy to report everything went very well. Kids were happy, sat in high chairs the whole time, and even ate. Hey, small victories..

In other developments, Binhjamin went to get his first photos taken the other day. He didn’t give a huge smile, but we got a couple of cute shots. Him being super adorable in the pictures wasn’t really the point. I wanted a 1 year picture, and we all know how cute he is anyway! This week, he began to “talk” on the phone. When he sees me answer the phone, he puts his hand up to his ear. Cute!! He picks up one of the many toy phones we have, along with a block or whatever is near, and put those up to his ear, too. I hope this doesn’t mean I spent too much time on the phone Binh also is doing a little signing. He signs “more” and “mama”. They aren’t perfect and I’m not sure he actually knows what the signs mean. Today he was in the tub and I said something about mama and he put his open palm up to his chin and hit it two times. So I didn’t even initiate that one. What a smartie.

Here’s the pic of us at our first dinner out.

So what kind of person would I be if I didn’t even mention the state of affairs with Vietnam adoptions? I’m not going to try to explain everything if you don’t know, but basically it looks like Vietnam will shut down to adoptions to the U.S. come September 1. If you’d like to read the whole, ugly situation, Nicki over at Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity has written about it much better than I could.

It makes me sad on so many levels. I feel for all the people, like Michelle and her family, who don’t see how they can complete an adoption by September 1. I’m sad that so much corruption has infiltrated something so beautiful, like adoption. Mostly, I’m sad for all the children in Vietnam who are living, languishing, in orphanages right now and won’t be coming home to warm, loving parents any time soon.

The thing that enters my mind at a time like this is a song that I held on to when I found out my dad had Alzheimer’s and when my mom had cancer a couple of years ago- Blessed Be Your Name. 

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name 

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord.. 

Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name..

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name. 

You know, the song doesn’t say when everything is going great I’ll praise you, but lose all faith and try to control things on my own when things are bad. It says my heart will choose to say blessed by your name. We don’t have to run around with rose colored glasses on and not feel any pain. The pain is there, real and raw, and still we have a choice to trust that the God of our good times is still the same, omnipotent God when there are trials in our life as well. 

I look to this song when I’m in my wilderness, and it helps remind me that I don’t have to know everything. I know some of you probably think, “easy for her to say, she has her son home” and I understand what you mean. Just know that I pray for this situation, and miracles do happen.

Oh, sidebar: My mom is healed of cancer and is probably working in the lawn as we speak

Don’t get me wrong, I like American Idol just fine. I haven’t really watched much at all this season, though, and that’s fine with me. First, I hate/have always hated the beginning of the show’s season where they show all the idiots who either just want to be on tv or are delusional and think they actually can sing. I don’t revel in other people’s pain or short comings. Another reason I haven’t watched is because of our time in Vietnam and then jet lag/crying babies upon our return. In general, the show is pretty entertaining and a lot better than some other reality shows that are too Jerry Springer-like for my taste.

However, let’s keep in mind people, it’s a tv show, not a religion. I taught ESL on Tuesday nights a year or two ago and I tell you when the American Idol season started, our attendance when down! These people paid good money to learn English, they live in a place where they need to know English and instead they chose to stay home and watch American Idol? One could argue they are learning American culture and some spoken English by watching television, but what a waste of money.

Then, the other day, I got Ava a happy meal from the clown restaurant, and it was themed with American Idol. I was really taken aback by that. She’s a little child, those meals are marketed to her, and it’s emblazoned with American Idol all over the package and the toy inside?  (Insert argument about how she shouldn’t be eating happy meals, anyway..but we just got back from Vietnam, and we all wanted a good fry and Coke! Ava had juice.) I don’t think 2-7 year olds should be thinking about American Idol. It just really put me over the edge thinking about how this TV SHOW consumes so much of our time and energy.

 I mean, it’s fun and all but it’s not a reason to miss out on other, more important things in our life. Let’s not forget the people are just people and it’s only a show. There’s no need to worship this huge brand that Simon Fuller has created.

Today we made our first venture out into the world as a family. After naps and lunch, we packed everything but the kitchen sink to make our way to the mall. Binh needed some pants that fit him. I had some clothes a friend let me borrow, but the pants that fit him are somewhat out of season now that it’s been in the 70’s here the last couple of days. Mind you, it could snow next week for all I know. I just wanted him to have some cute lightweight pants to play in that didn’t look like just cotton layette stuff. Ava also needed some socks that fit her and some pants too. All of hers are getting to be high-waters that I can’t pass them off as capris!

Well, surprisingly, everything went pretty well. Ash entertained Ava as I used up our Gym-bucks (sale ends tomorrow, people, if you haven’t used the Gym-bucks yet!). I bought 6 months clothes, mostly, for Binh. He can wear 6-12 month socks and 6-12 month shirts. I have to be careful with the pants because they have to be long enough, but he has like no booty at all and a very small waist, so he could wear 3-6 month pants if not for the length. He is 28 inches now, you know. We went to the doctor yesterday and he’s grown, a little. He also has a double ear infection, like Ava, so now I’ve got two on Amox. twice a day. They both take it pretty well, though. Ava gets excited and says, “Medicine!” when I get it out. That’s sad that she’s had so much medicine in the last week that she now looks forward to it!

I got some bad news while we were at the mall. Talbot’s Kids is shutting down. They are doing away with all the stores as of September I think the lady said. I was bummed. I think they have some really cute stuff. In fact, Binh in now ready to sailing or play tennis thanks to the purchases made today from there. Let’s just hope they do a 70% off everything sale this summer. Although, I don’t know if they have Talbot’s Kids where we’re moving…

I also took Binh into Target with me to buy a Crock Pot. I know, who buys a crock pot when it’s going to be summer? Well, I do apparently. I never got one as a wedding gift, and I’ve been wanting one (I know, for 13 years?!). I think it could help simplify things if I had some dishes I could just throw in and let cook until time for dinner. I explained to Binh when we went into Target that he’d need to get used to being there as mommy shops at Target at least once a week. He LOVED getting to sit in the cart. He looked so cute in there, his tiny self sitting up and looking around. He also was busy giving me “five” while we were shopping. Ash and Ava stayed in the car because Ava had fallen asleep. It was fun getting to truck around with just Binh for a little while. He is doing better and seems happier each day. He now smiles back at us, babbles when he sees us, and reaches up to us to be picked up.

Now if we can just conquer sleeping through the night…